Let's make space for wordless exchanges

On the power of non-verbal experiences to feel beyond our differences and be there for each other

My deepest experiences and pivotal moments in life came from wordless experiences.

From sharing:

Breath
Tears
Music
Silence
Dance

With others.

A breathwork gathering with my mentor 5 years ago, where I first experienced what being held means

They are hard to describe. Words don’t do justice to something that raises hair on your neck. And you are left gasping for air as you are describing it to a friend.

Like me, trying to describe a touching, out-of-this-world experience at a voicing circle. In Berlin, just a couple days ago. I saw it in his eyes that he was cheering for me but not getting it.

So, while I am making today’s point let me take another stab at describing.

Voicing ritual

So, the voicing ritual. Imagine yourself in a room with some strangers. Making sounds together. And I don’t mean singing. I mean making a wide range of no-sense-making sounds.

Sounding with the whole body: the stomach, the back, the head, the pelvic floor, the feet. Letting the sound set bodies in motion.

That evolved into a tsunami of vibration in each of us, but also in feeling all of us together as a pulsing, vibrating organism.

And a side effect of that surrender and belonging to this organism was trust, and one could say love. For each other and life with no strings attached.

We saw each other for the first time in our lives that day. Yet lying on the floor with our heads touching, it felt like we knew each other in ways that could take a lifetime to develop.

Being held

To anchor it to a familiar experience, some of us might have been fortunate to have (not all of us, I know):

You are feeling hurt as a kid. With a scratch on the knee acting like a window for grief, doubts, and fears to come to the surface in that moment.

And the next thing you know, you are sitting on the lap of your mother. She is there just to hold you, allowing you to express these fears and grief that cannot be put into words. No questions asked. All the space allowed.

And the message that gets imprinted in your being at that moment:

I am loved. I can trust this world.

It feels like the axis that keeps the world spinning.

Losing the axis

As we get crushed by the gravity of self-faults, grievances, and shame, that experience starts to fade. And creating a new one feels like a trip to the moon.

Never again in my lifetime will I feel so fully accepted and held. Is life about pain?

Well, what if all it takes to regain that axis is sharing breath, sound, or dance with someone? Simple, primal experiences that speak in the language our bodies and beings are born into.

If we could feel held, loved, accepted, how much stuff would we need in life? How much shame would we hold? From what state would we live and work?

These questions have been following me for years, haha.

On the fringe?

I have to admit I’ve been a junkie of those experiences. Hunting them, almost. And lots of times, the spaces are far from being full. Incredible humans facilitating magic find it a challenge to consistently fill those classes.

I’ve also heard from people, knowing about this hunger of mine for those non-verbal experiences, say:

Yulya, wow, you are on the fringe.

Am I, though?

How did we come to call primal, fundamental human needs a fringe?

I do have lots of thoughts about that, with no single right answer:

• Are we trying to distance ourselves from those things that point to our animal nature?

• Have we hyper-identified ourselves with the thinking brain as a human feature

• Have we been hypnotized into an altered state of submission to the ubiquitous screens?

I am sure you also have thoughts on that.

The good thing is, we don’t even have to discuss or agree on the causes. Because words sometimes just don’t have it in them to get through.

How about we just sink into the vulnerability of breathing together?

And actually, let me make it a practical invitation.

Would you breathe with me?

Would you do me the honor of sharing this simple breathing practice with me?
You and I, we are of the same blood. And so is the Earth, brimming with breathing beings.

Thanks for being here with me.

Cheers to our holding our axis together ❤️

PS Before you go! Episode two of the Life in Flow podcast is out! With my two flowco-creator

Irina Mishina

and

CoachingbyPolina

we are continuing improvised unedited conversations. In this one we are exploring the distinction between Life in Flow and Flow in Life.

Ways to further explore together:

Listen to the podcast:

The Breath of Life: featuring live conversations on Substack with people who are spreading aliveness and interconnectedness.

Life in Flow: exploring concepts fundamental to Flow in Life in improvised unedited conversations with tow flow-co-creators.

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